Somedays

There are moments I tire. Tire of being alone in a large bed. Tire of the void. A void both physical and emotional. There are seasons I lament being alone - the December holiday season being the most prevalent - from the work Christmas parties to Christmas and later New Years. Valentines Day is a piece of cake - quite literally it is an episode or two of Sex in the City and a chocolate vegan cupcake. Christmas involves avoiding the chocolate and now being even more aware of the solitary nature of my decisions and desires. There are decisions I could make to alter this course, but they are decisions I would rather not make - like accepting milk when soy is absent - there will be recourse. So I'll continue to wait and know that every time during this season when I have and will be asked why I have no one to share my Tofurky with, I'll know that someday maybe someone will step into that void, but for now - I've got other distractions at hand. Desperately desired sleep, followed by the gym and a whole other list of events tomorrow and Friday. I'm beginning to wonder if I want someone to fill the void, because I know that with all I have to distract or comfort me - his entrance maybe jarring like stick through the spokes of life - lame metaphor I know - but well it's late and I'm being melodramatic - one thing I can say is none of this was spurred out of a toothpaste...