Full Moons

Full moons are something you need to train medical staff to understand, but at the same time no one wants to. It's viewed as superstition or folklore, but really ask anyone who works in the medical field and deals with patients, especially any psych nurse and they'll tell you everyone goes a little off this time of the lunar cycle. Why? Who knows but folklore is full of it - just look at the tales about werewolves and remember there is an ounce of truth that blossomed the wild tale. Anyways I had to teach Lisa that today as she dealt with her second unright person in under and hour. I asked Ryan if it was a full moon, not really thinking it to be the case, sure enough it's today. So Lisa stay away from the phone and hope that all goes smoothly for the rest of the day.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jalalspages/1761814870/

So I'm A Slacker

I get it, I understand that I'm too busy for my own good - I've got a to do list that keeps growing and all the things that I can shove off on others has been done - now I'm left with invitations for the engagement party and while I'm crafting this weekend I'm going to do the RSVP notes for the Save the Dates and maybe if I am insane I will have time to even tackle the exteriors of the BBQ ones for Florida. I would kind of like to have as much in the way of paper and knife stuff done. Natalie and others claim that this stuff is easy to find and get done with - we will see. But since I only have about 6 invites to do for the engagement party and about 20 for the Florida one, it's not that bad. Other then all the wedding sort of stuff, my life has been all about trying to figure out how to deal with this job and let it not consume every waking moment of my life or even non-waking as it does most often. I'm dealing with a renovation, possible software update, staffing issues, surgery chaos, archives that need culling and all sorts of other time and life consuming issues. I'm exhausted but I do have to say I enjoy my Skytrain ride in with my IPod and coffee. Here's a little sample of what I've been listening to:

The picture courtesy via Shawn is what I think of in this time of stress - peaceful moments in God's creation

Backward Society?

It seems we live in a society that seems to think that teenagers are capable of raising children and yet 26 year old adults aren't capable of getting married. Linda asked about how the trip went, I said "It went really good" in response she asked how the long distance thing is going to work, and I said, it will be back and forth until April when we get married. She looked at me like I had 3 heads or something worse - Holy Sh*t girl. I replied well we've known each other since October. She proceeded into the lunch room and the door was open on our side - I could hear her saying, "What kind of world is she living in?"

Well Linda you are right, I live in another world - I live in a world where if you are mature enough to be in a committed relationship and you are mature and competent enough to decide if this person you are with is worthy of your life long commitment or not, then once you decide that, then you get married - no sense living together for years on end, only to decide 5 or 10 years down the line that it's not worth your effort. And here's the practical side of it all - common law is marriage - sorry folks but after 6 months of living you are married according to the law and you can get alimony, 1/2 the house and custody or whathaveyou. I just find it so frustrating.

Moving Forward

Well for those who don't know, it's official that you need to check your Facebook more often. Shawn and I have a new blog that we are attempting to keep more updated then our own blogs. Well actually Shawn keeps his updated, I seem to be falling victim to work and flying stress and become comatose about 6pm, 7pm if Shawn's lucky.

The new blog is http://shawnandjennb.blogspot.com, you can keep an eye on the process of being knitted together, of planning, of stress and all the little weird and wonderful things - like Shawn's upcoming trip up here in August or Immigration - here I come, yep you know you want me. From the blog you can find our Flickr accounts and Shawn's own blog.

Thanks for coming along for the ride - and hey no looking back now you hear!?

Photo courtesy of Shawn

A Childhood Moment

My mom would always play music in the car so that we could all sing along, but it was never Raffi,. Fred Penner or Charlotte Diamond - no it was Sandi Patti, Larnell Harris and Harry Chapin - to this day I still have all the songs in my head - Cat in the Cradle, Mr. Tanner and the following:



I love my mom - her collections of Joan Baez, Beattles and The Mommas and the Pappas.

While I've Got the "W" Word on the Brain...

I'm not really sure how I feel about it, not the issue of the W, but more so all that swirls around it - magazines, websites, shows, diets and all the expectations. I just put likely the umpteenth Bridal magazine back on the shelf because I can't digest it - I can't look at another spread of budgetless weddings, out-of-reach-one-of-a-kind venues, and ridiculously skinny brides with large chests holding up their strapless designer gowns. So what then? Well Shawn and I have already discussed starting a blog to document aspects of the process. But as well a part of me really wants to join the Hive, though I am aware in doing so I become party to the machine. I was hoping to use my amazing writing skills and unique perspective of not only being a city girl from Canada moving to a suburban America town, as well hey I'm a vegan, I'm a Christian - so yes all those "chauvinistic" events will happen, but there will also be a chuppa amongst other things like encouraging our guests to sign up with Compassion.

So to generally update you know we have a date, a venue, a color scheme and most importantly a budget...

Music

I'm sure I've posted this before, but regardless I love it so I'm going to post it. I've been listening to music more these days trying to think of songs I want...

Starbucks

Self ,
You are no longer able to consume large amounts of caffeine - thus from henceforth do not order a Grande Vanilla Soy Americano Misto unless you feel like having your stomach and all the rest of your internal organ attempt to exit your body all while feeling like your completely out of sorts. Please consume only Grande No-Melon Soy Green Tea lattes and no one, including yourself will be hurt.
Much Thanks and Hugs,

Me

Running...

I've noted before the euphoria of sorts that occurs when I plat, plat, plat, my stress away on the treadmill, even more high inducing with awesome tunes like Coldplay and Kayne West's Homecoming. Despite my love the for the movement of black rubber in a oval pattern, I am aware not all running is good.

We have a tendency to run in our lives, run all over "hell and back," and be pulled in all directions. Spiritual running does the same a running in life - it feels good for the moment, you think you've avoided the issue, shed the stress until you wake up in the night with a leg cramp, or a sore right arch. The issues are still there, your stressors are still there and now you're just sore (not to deter anyone from exercise - just saying). The issue with physical running is that in the end it will more then likely contribute to your health, spiritual running has a tendency to do the opposite.

When we're running from God, we indirectly become acutely aware of how fragile we are as He is truly omnipresent - the weight sinks in, sleep is fractured and yet we have a tendency to pick up the pace, shove as many people, things, events between ourselves and God in the hopes to distract Him or distract ourselves. We are like Jonah, while we don't run on trade ships we do it with work, relationships, people. I've done it, most notably my second semester at Simon Fraser, I knew the medical school dream as a mirage and yet I took on more courses, more of everything - I was going to eat that sand if it killed me but I wasn't going to sit there and talk it out with God. Through that time I was in the whale and I do believe that God does do that to us, impose a whale prison when we just can't seem to get it. These days I find the thought of a whale circling in the spiritual waters below me is enough to get me to change my course. But it's not to say it's easy - believing that He has wonderful plans, greater then we could imagine is easy when life is easy, it's brutally and at times life alteringly hard when we want what He's directing us away from. I've grown to hold onto a saying that's been thrown more and more these days - the pain though raw now is brief, the pain later will be that much greater. In that sure we can't imagine making those decisions, but we need to because while we are being directed away from what we want, we are being directed towards what He desires for our lives.

It's one of those life lessons we do spend hours in aquatic animal's belly figuring out, while we maybe in the gut of another, He gives us our own gut feelings for a reason, and they normally require that we act. If the source or the purpose of those feelings swirling inside you is unknown then take the time to sit with Him and find a respite from the running in the silence.

While the song isn't about Jonah, it is about another pivotal decision and of course a song I love for the truth in the relationship between God and us.



Photo: http://flickr.com/photos/benjamin_marra_illustrations/2416100795/

Ebb and Flow

There's an ebb and flow to life, sometimes it is a lot more ebb than flow, or too much flow and not enough ebb time - regardless it is what it is and that's it. Well right now, actually more specifically since the dawn of this blog my life has gone every which way but expected. I could go through the list of all the things that are now different: jobs, living situation, education, friends, family and what not. But that's not quite the point - the point is despite the fact that with each change this past year there has been provision, blessing and clear direction, I have a fractured relationship with God when it comes to trust. It's not easy to describe either - the problem I have. I don't seem to have an issue with the jump, that leap from the edge of the pool into the open hands of a loving parent, I do however believe that once I get there he's going to either 5 minutes later or longer abruptly let go leaving me to find my way to the edge of the pool again or drown. Why? I've had plenty of things start and only to abruptly end. The repetition of such events has made me feel like despite how things look now the bottom could drop out, the other shoe fall or the way obscured beyond recognition.

This process has made me worry about the future - about what happens when things start working together...

Now back to all this change business, I blurted out to Shawn Sunday evening I feel like I've lost myself - I meant to say I feel like am truly in a liminal space, being pushed from my current environment due to various changes into a new space, we talk about the M and W words but neither are really "official," school is halted and life is like well what is it? And I'm? I'm different then I was last month, never mind 6 months ago or even a year ago - is what I feel I lost something I was suppose to? Is this the process, is this growth just part of the whole process of getting ready to willingly relinquish an aspect of my independence?