In Defense

While I enjoy the comments on the blog, I part of me does cringe when it's men who are stepping in to defend me/my thoughts. Why? Well I'm a feminist and a writer- I know that Shawn laughs at me when I say this but here's the deal - I know that I don't always follow the hard feminist line, regardless it has affected how I view men and how I view the act of writing.

Machismo/Bravado is the last thing that attracts me to a man, if anything it is a deterrent, as it at its most fundamental means my voice, my words will be silenced, that the space I've carved out in this world will be routinely compromised by all that I desire to remain apart from(1). That emotional and spiritual equality is not a priority for my partner and I will remain misunderstood. The reality is women see this world in a unique manner - one that should be given a space to articulate and is not subjugated (2). Machismo implies emotionally impotency and ultimately a lack of self actualization, note I said implies.

So that being said how can I be defended? Well first of all, I don't need to be. If you chose to do so you do get my Thanks, but know that it hasn't necessarily won you any brownie points - if anything you may do as one fellow leader did - further embarrass me. I chose my battles and an awkward grade 9 kid has enough of his own to have a strip ripped off him by me. But let me say if you are someone who I know respects the boundaries - Joel and Shawn - defend all you want.

This all comes back to a comment made on the previous blog about what kind of man I'm looking for. I stand by what I'm looking for in that it is the role modeled by men of God that I love, respect and or love and respect. The inference in the comment is that these men - pacifists and men of faith are not men because they have chosen a route that embraces the core of who Jesus is. A patient leader, who lead with knowledge and firm conviction - not with force as the Jews believed their Messiah would. Our Messiah, our Saviour was a child in a manager, a man scorned, a man without a place to rest his head, a man who loved and showed compassion despite the very reality that He could have called down the full weight of His Father's wrath, He went willingly to his death - in the sense that He did not fight.

There is something great in my eyes, when a man uses every other means: knowledge, growth and character before raising a hand. Is that ungodly? No, I don't believe so. These men like my great grandfather (the community religious leader - pastor though more like a Rabbi) watched his community die - unarmed civilians - who was greater there? The Russian soldiers who killed the children of the village or the man who believe that to do the same would be a denial of His Savior, of His God's most awesome and sovereign will? We too often believe we are aware of God's will, that we can alter the direction or determine the timing, when it reality - we can not.

John 16:31-33 (Message)Jesus answered them, "Do you finally believe? In fact, you're about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."

Isaiah 55:8 (Message)"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work."


References:
1. Hermann, Claudine "Women in Time and Space" pg. 169
2. Viviane Forrester.