To My Southern Friends

I've become a frequent reader and commenter on Shaun Groves blog - but you know there is a point to where I've come to realize there is a really good reason I don't live on the lower half of this fine continent.

One: Holidays are almost all inherently pagan - you keep forgetting that Christianity is a relatively new religion all things considered - not Judaism - yes that's been around, but they've got their own holidays you should educate yourselves on - Purim, Rosh Hashanah, Passover, Yon Kippur and lets not forget Chanukkah - yes there is a C - since it's a guttural H... Halloween and Christmas were pagan - and you know what are pretty much the worst kind of pagan now - Hallmark style pagan... But that I realize is an insult to those who actually celebrate the original meaning/purpose of the holiday - granted it has been several years since I did my research into Halloween's origins - but the basic premise like a large number of world religions is a reconnection with the dead, a feeding of the spirits and as a whole a time polar opposite to this Christian idea of ritual sacrifice etc.

As a side note - ritual sacrifice is the prime sin Christians have tacked onto groups they don't like - Jews for example - yes, Christians even developed laws in England, and the rest of Europe based on this belief - Chaucer wrote The Prioress' Tale and the Bellis Trial in Poland in recent times was also based on this.... tacky really tacky.

Two: Educate yourselves beyond the here and now - the world you see via CNN, pacifism works for the rest of the world - guns are not a life necessity. I cannot understand how giving a 4 year old a real gun and teaching her to shoot a rabbit is anywhere a step towards self-actualization. Maybe when your forefathers crossed the plains that was okay but there is a Super-Walmart in every American city - there is no reason for that kind of insanity.

3. Immigration - your country was founded on it - everyone other than the First Nations were immigrants - sorry but you were and by all respects illegal ones at that... So here's the deal - terrorists are smart enough to get into your country legally - the illegal ones are those who are looking to better their lives - adopt the hallowed American way... stop using them as glorified slaves - I know why your politicians are getting antsy - they see it - they see what they're doing and they know the next step - those immigrants will realize they're doing the bread and butter work you won't do and start wanting some rights - and there goes the country...

4. War should not be big business and your government should not be the morality police - note I did not say they shouldn't be the justice police - but here's the deal - sure I'm pro-life - but abortions have happened likely since the dawn of time and are safer when legalized - so I'm not stepping on that one - don't agree with it but that's not the point. Same sex marriage and all that - you know what - I don't care - my boss getting married did not bring on the apocalypse and if anything shouldn't you want the end times? Or would it get in the way of your current lifestyle? So I'm fine with it - considering I'm not sure I want to join up with the archaic institution, someone else is eager for it then go ahead.

5. Education - teach Evolution - for goodness sake and you can teach your early earth or whatever you believe at home - you still do parent right? I'm an old earth evolutionary creationist... who is more concerned that at the reading levels - and this whole banning books nonsense, and lack of American and World history that is taught. We do not live in igloos - haven't and never will - Canada is like Portland - scary I know - clean, with transit, Tim Hortons/Starbucks, over educated individuals - courtesy of our publicly supported universities and overall skinnier - yes we still believe McDonald's is a once a year treat not a food group and yes Universal Health care!

6. Jesus is not American - he does not believe in the American way of life or capitalism despite what James Dobson says - sorry to burst that bubble - so this whole WWJD stuff is so off in right field it's lunacy. Jesus hung out with the people relegated to the back row of your church or more accurately those who have never darkened the door - the raw vegan with dreads who sells me my lunch, the bipolar lady on crack who broke into my parents house, the swearing drunk hockey parents we used to have lunch with on Sundays - those are his peeps - what would Jesus do? That's a tough one - but being locked in a dark house on Halloween likely wouldn't be at the top of the list.

7. You fought for the separation of Church and State at one point in time - why don't you fight for it now? The gay rights thing being a perfect example - deal with it on your level - Church don't deal with it on State. And secondly might I remind you the word Church in this case is all religious institutions - I hear you crying foul when Muslims, Sikhs or Hindus work to alter the course of your country... again with the hypocrisy.

8. We've got better candy in Canada - plain and simple - Cadbury and all the wonderful stuff that comes from the country y'all decided you don't much like.

That about sums it up - one more thing - the Linkin Park in the previous post sums up my attitude on comments that I'm sure will continue to come my way....