Monday, January 7, 2008

I want to post but I just don't know...

I was going to bake my way through this feeling and deal with it, deal with the fact the helicopter pilot from LA (state not city) has a membership, has emailed me and that I just can't do it - and yet there is a very rational or pessimistic part of my brain that whispers that you're crazy to believe that that is why he was there last night.

But then sitting here I was thinking - of last night when I was writing out the lyrics to Great is Thy Faithfulness and it came to me - the passage that is foundational to the song - one I read at my baptism - the one that sustained me through the depression and suicidal thoughts, through everything that has followed. I read it to Leaha last night from NIV - and Leaha just read it to me from The Message.

Lamentations 3
19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

34-36Stomping down hard
on luckless prisoners,
Refusing justice to victims
in the court of High God,
Tampering with evidence—
the Master does not approve of such things.

3 comments:

leah said...

Love it jenn! I hope you're doing okay. and p.s. you would have been VERY upset if you came to then environmental discussion tonite.

Jenn said...

what?! what?! what happened - LEAH!!

leah said...

it was sooo bad. i expected way more with the headline "Is God Green?" Gosh, the environment is way more than recycling. And wait, they didn't even cover recycling. They just went on and on about other stuff.. oh gosh, maybe i shall blog it. I'm actually going to talk to the pastor about it because he said we should if we thought that the message didn't even scratch the surface. It wasn't him who gave the speech, it was this girl who went into environmental engineering. Anyway... i kinda borrowed his geez magazine that he had lying on the table and I have to tell him I did that because I got permission to take it from this other "leader". hehe... i really wanted to read it ok?!