Tuesday, January 15, 2008

So this bed is made for jumping too?

This bed is my first adult purchase - thing cost me big, and resulted in a lot of debate - double or queen? I settled on double - it's plenty for one and big enough for two - not that I've tested that theory sleeping, but Leaha and I fit on it fine to watch movies.

Regardless so I knew this bed was good for sleeping, blogging, chatting, sitting, reading, listening to music, even eating - yes I'm horrible I eat in bed - not a habit I like but we don't have a kitchen table so it's the bedroom and that's tight too. So anyways I learned something new tonight, it's good for jumping too apparently. Next I need to try dancing on it, when no one can witness that of course.

I've been doing more running, walking and yes sleeping - not at normal hours though - I got up at 8 and then went back to bed and slept until 12 today - wow way to mess up the schedule and not achieve anything. I've been attempting to analyze something that refuses to let me analyze it or even worse over-analyze it. Instead I've been left doing what never happens - saying Your will be done - because I don't know what to do - I'm lost here and it's not even the feeling rusty being that it's been a long time since anything like this has happened - it's feeling like to make active steps to push away is redundant and immature, since me pushing here is not going to result in hanging on - like has in the past - as ridiculous as that is to even admit to that. And yet here I am not knowing how or if to pull towards. Even thinking about that is difficult right now. There is one thing I'm really going to have to think about - really think about, and weight - all the while knowing I don't fit a list. I use to like lists - made things simple - got that check, doesn't have that, check, oh you are that, well NEXT! Even still lists for me candy coat fears and yet are still justified as a way of ensuring that our rational self is still present. Though really are we rational when it comes to these things? I don't know. That I really don't know. But a part of me still feels a list is like shopping for perfection in the second hand bin - we are all broken in some form and yet we seek perfection - haven't figure out why we do that either - sorry folks.

Don't know a lot apparently and this is really tough... can't this be easier to find someone to laugh, love and grow with - someone to explore life with and more importantly someone warm - this bed though made for jumping, is not made for warm...

Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/emurray/288559834/


LeahA said...

are you saying that you jumped on the bed today? you jumped and i wasnt there to witness it and clap?
you are very right that it wasnt made for warm....stupid beds...

Anonymous said...

okay, i just read leaha's latest blog again b/c she re-did it. and anyway, all i can say jenn is that this blog is cute, cute, CUTE!! =)hahaaa

Anonymous said...

A list is a list is a list, lists are things saught out for. Who is to say that one is to conform to a list. God sent the 20 commandments and his one and only Son to try and show us how He wants us to try and live our lives. But who can honestly say that they have ever or could ever live up to those things... Accept for his son.

One may desire certain things but in reality who is to say that we would ever be able to recieve the things that we seek.

Wheather we want to admit it or not bosses, a new job, a new or old friend put us on a list of things that they desire or even demand from us. There is only one list that we should take into account. His list. But conforming to someone elses list (so to say) is what I believe as denying ourselves from ourselves. Its seems that in trying to fit into someone elses list we get stuck in a rut of trying to please others with a false someone that everyone likes. People should accept others for who they are and who they aspire to be. God designed us all different, so why not be?

I apologize for the rant and the possable bad grammar, none of this is directed at anyone. So I do appologize again if it offends anyone.