Er, Wow...

It's funny to try and define emotions, especially when all you're left with are words so commonly used that they've lost their meaning in an a culture over-saturated with the superficial and the aesthetics. All our words or phrases related to romantic affections are tainted - like, love, beauty, butterflies, tingliness, the foot pop kiss. Yes even that elusive foot pop kiss. And yet I find myself trying to use these words as inadequate as they are to describe, contain or bring further into form feelings, emotions that I have no reference for. The thing I find so bizarre and yet calming is just that peace - I have peace about this - the kind of go to bed and sleep sound - not tossing and turning anxiety. There is no weight on my heart, soul or mind - it's just a feeling of progress where this may lead.

You know where it led today? Valentine's Day cards, standing in Celebration at lunch, starring at Valentine's Day cards and wondering if I had entered some parallel universe because other than elementary school I honestly can't remember a time I have consciously stood there and debated and since they don't have a card for our current situation - I turned my attentions elsewhere - yes maybe it was lame but I figured - this is going long term I get to go all cheesy next year - make up for all the years I cursed the commercialization of affections... still with you in spirit on it Jocelyn though I figure Leaha and I are for the time excommunicated from the we hate romantic holidays and loathe boys club... can't say I'm complaining, sorry but I can't...

Okay, so I promise the emotionally intense Jenn will be departing for sometime and the angsty one will return since my books came from Chapters - so hopefully like Shawn says my other personality can come out and play...



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