Update

It's interesting how our lives just like our environments have seasons, some short, some indistinguishably mushed together in a never ending, visibly homogeneous mass of same and some times for reasons unknown they repeat, almost to the day years later.

I received a call yesterday from Jas, Brian was looking to see if I could come back and work Saturdays - told him to make me an offer and I would see. Well I ended up agreeing - can't say I'm ecstatic about it - but the funny thing about it when I thought about it - 6 years ago almost to the day, I started at the clinic - with long hair and that's the only thing that's the same. Now, I don't have a life in turmoil, I'm out of my parents house and not trying to escape their latest separation (they've resolved that too), and I've grown to the point where I've laid down medical school and all the associated guilt and found what makes me, me. So as of next Saturday I'm back to my 10-4 days, it will be nice to see the regulars, I know I'll be happy to see Jackie* - I've been worrying about her. It will be interesting to see how Brian treats me - now that he needs me rather than the reverse.

I spent the day with Jess - 4 1/2 hours of which devoted to the process of completing the left half sleeve - it's beautiful and even better than time with her - is Alex (who also did mine) did the exact lotus I want on her upper shoulder. So that being said, I'm going to email her with my ideas, she's take them to Alex and I'll have my time booked for a Monday in late May - a birthday gift to myself. I've also decided to have to lotus' shaded in pink, like the one on one of the previous posts. Eventually I'll have something I want added to the existing one, but I know that will come in time - I have to deal with the family issues after this one first.

There are lots of smaller things like:

I bought this beautiful cobalt blue bag from Lululemon today to replace my messenger bag from them - so that I can look like a 25 going on 26 year old adult when I commute.

I was able to go outside today without a coat and bare legs! Crazy, but true we got one warm day here today - made it up to 20, so why not get the spring clothes out?

I realized in talking to Shawn last night that I really am not in a place in my life to try and factor in someone - so once again I'm back to the no dating for a year thing - I just don't have my sh*t together to the point where it just adds a directional stressor on my life to have someone - regardless of whether they have theirs together or not.

Jocelyn pointed me towards UN's University for Peace - which is amazing and it has the degree that if I could have made one for myself I would have chosen: Media, Conflict and Peace Studies - it's a two year masters tailored for individuals more like me - i.e. writer folks - though I'm not professional - so that is one thing I do need to get on - more writing - ack, so uninspired right now. Why Media? Why not their gender MA, for one I don't know if it is necessarily healthy for me to polarize myself any further in that area of my life, there are already plenty of times where I have wanted to say to white middle income males - "You know you are what's wrong with this world!" And while that may be so in a general sense of CEO's and etc, as a whole that statement can border on irrational feminist jargon. I am and always have been interested in media because as cliche as it sounds to the general public, words have meaning, and since voices in conflict are so often audibly silenced, printed words become the subversive means to undermine the opposition. There is also the hope in non-conflict societies that the media can change a social consciousness for the better and not as the case with CNN as a puppet for the US government.

I found a great new artist Sara Bareilles - have a listen while I deal with the fact that I just gave in and blogged



*Name changed for confidentiality