I Understand Now

In previous years I've watched Bridzillas and wondered what on God's green earth happened to these women to make them like that. The ring did. There is something in the inanimate object that compels women to push themselves to their very ends. I don't know if it's just the ring, for me I wonder if it has a whole lot more to do with this job that every day seems to eat me whole in my blatant inadequacy for it. I use to wake with anxiety, now I've come to live with it - it's the cloud of stress and frustration that follows me home, sleeps next to me and arrives at work late - about 9am. Today it arrived early like me. It actually was waiting for me in the form of the umpteenth patient to cancel their surgery for next week, following swiftly by payroll issues.

I'm the kind of tired right now that no amount of sleep seems to be able to rectify. If I had the option I would go home every night and go straight to bed - without eating or do anything - some nights I don't even have the desire to get out of my work clothes and into my pj's.

But it's one of those things - press onwards - the Save the Dates arrived at Shawn's house, one of the bridesmaid dresses was ordered and is now shipped to Shawn - we had a JCrew sale mishap, and we're back where I was originally at navy dresses - all the pink ones are gone for the season and won't return in time for the wedding next April. The venues are aligned and tentatively booked - just waiting on the caterer's quote. So here's the fun part - planning the details - the venue, table set up and what not. We aren't going to have flowers - we may if there are leftovers from making our own bouquets - I had sworn I wouldn't on my life do my own flowers but since I have months of practice I'm going to try it out. My main reason behind this is not having a florist on the island. The favors have been decided and are a secret more or less - hush to those who know. So what now? Ipod playlist - we have the luxury of plugging in an Ipod to the sound system - voila no DJ.
What do you think should be on the playlist - we already determined that Mandy Moore's cover of Umbrella will be on it, as well as Michael Buble's Everything and Etta James' At Last is a classic. Martha Stewart's new magazine suggest's Duffy's "Mercy.



I'm not too sure, I think it's a great dancing song, just don't know how many of our family are interested in dancing - all those Mennonite's with no rhythm