Sigh

It's the first night were I actually need a fan and yet it's also the first night in a long time where it's clouded over and the temperature has dropped go figure. It might have to do with me checking Shaun Groves blog again before bed and seeing a frustrating comment. Shawn and I had been talking about the latest post in our continuing discussion on churches. I find it a hard discussion to have - I feel like Willingdon did burn me - used me, used my parents and spat us all out - after 3 years of service I've not had a single person notice that I've been absent for over a year - maybe that was because I was the only volunteer on Saturday nights with upwards of 25 teens grades 8-11. I gave up on the hope someone would realize I was continually being pushed to my logistical limits never mind mental. I found Tenth, a community where I have found the space to find healing and see that a church can be the Church to the community surrounding it - are they perfect, of course not, but they are doing what I believe those with buildings have a great opportunity to do - get into their community repeatedly in ways that cause discussions - Out of the Cold and Oasis minister to the homeless in the area and initiatives like the movement against the Legalization of Prostitution work to ensure that the issues bigger then standard Christian trifecta of Abortion, Gay Marriage and Christianity supportive government are left off the pulpit. There are ugly things we need to as a Christian community aka the Church deal with - rape, homosexuality (not in it's abolishing but in healing, creating an environment that states what we know which is we don't understand it - we don't know why it is and we know it isn't something that Exodus or some other organization can magically fix), poverty, emotional dryness/burnout, mental illness - you name it the list can go on.

Why all this? Well Shawn does Church without the church, and that works - but I don't know - there are times where I wonder if I'll miss it - where I'll want to be here in my smallish church singing some Brian Doerkson song and enjoying being with a larger intellectual community of believers. I know that it isn't about the denomination - sure I'm half flesh and blood Mennonite, but it doesn't mean that I won't mix with non-Menno's just not with boys, I'll stay on the girls side - but it does mean that I don't think alcohol is an issue - I drink, you don't? Not a determinant of salvation - doesn't bother me what you do - you say hymns and I say a little of everything, again I don't think I'm going to get tested on whether or not I sang Come Thou Fount more then Glory in the Highest - oh wait is that one of those redone hymns? Does that count for both?

So those are my late night thoughts - now to toss and turn in the Vancouver heat and wish for some Floridian AC, and the person enjoying that at the moment.