Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I Bailed....

Face plant, gravity won the moment, whatever you want to call it I found myself staring at the side of my bag, and momentarily wondering how I got here and if I stayed still could the world pass me by and we all forget this moment. It's just further humbling to know that your body could, can and does revolt, a foot steps too low and all changes.

In recent weeks I've come to the point where as embarassing as it was, or as I said to the lady, "Well that wasn't graceful, now was it?" you collect yourself, assess the damage (a run in my stockings) and forgive yourself. Forgive and know that without that we stand again with the unnecessary weight of a situation you had little control over. Sure there are plenty of things we can control, alter and as such are called to account for and deal with those moments, there are plenty we hold. We have a tendency to hold onto the falls and ignore the fails, the moments where we by our actions failed another. The switch from releasing the falls and taking hold of the fails is a difficult journey, but necessary. The next while will be about that progression for me, defining and finding the spaces in my life that need to be placed in those categories.

In the meantime, despite my lack of grace - I have this truth to hold on to - sorry I couldn't find the song on Imeem:



Shawn said...

I am sorry you fell in public. I know by our phone call you are not okay. I will pray that you have the healing from this accident. The embarrassing part will vanish with time.

Jenn said...

that's the part that seems to remain, the scars seem to vanish first, but maybe this time will be different.