Monday, November 24, 2008
We Aren't In Kansas Anymore
Nope, that I am not. It was funny that M at work suggested that I be nicer to Three. That ship sailed, that life sailed, it's all gone and there is no point digging around in the laundry of the past that has been cleaned and sorted - it was not in there in the first place why would it be there now. On a somewhat positive note, I think I've got the body language thing going in the right direction after the last gaffe that I promise was not my fault. There's been this "harmless" guy on the bus for the last 4 months (?) who knows to be honest, I remember it was hot. Well I figured what's it going to hurt to look back when I noticed him looking - supposedly that indicated interest - geez I feel like I'm learning a new language. Well in the end nothing was exchanged except the continuous rubbing of elbows as we sat squishy next to each other. I got a little chuckle out of his glance back as he got off the bus - like a I just don't know. I know this is a safe time, I'm surrounded by therapists and everything is being monitored - it's like jumping into the shallow end with your parents there arms outstretched. I guess I just don't know. Honestly I don't trust myself. Maybe that's the point, I need to trust the person inside who has been ignored for too long, trust her gut and be honest with myself. If I'm being honest with you guys, he's cute and he lives in the neighbourhood - yah, it's not only the same country, it's the same freaking postal code. That also ups the stakes for running into him Saturday mornings after yoga - in my Lulu's and no makeup... oh well - that's what life looks like right?