Sunday, November 23, 2008

Of Course

It's funny, every step I make forward (or attempt to make forward) I find myself faced with a challenge/temptation/testing. This one was Three* - and while he's really not a temptation or a testing, he is a challenge. He is one of those people who pops up at the time in your life when you don't need them there - or ever there and you have a choice - accept them back or not. This time I chose to walk towards God, to with all the grace and forgiveness I know that is in me because of Him and graciously moved towards change. It's a change that in this case is easy, but maybe that is because of the process I've gone through I'm not sure. Relationships, ex's and all that don't hold the same emotional weight/burdens that they once did - I'm not contained within them and their power does not sustain or limit me. Maybe Leaha there is your hope - change. Change is where my hope is found. Changing of seasons, of growth, or my body. It's funny I was actually thinking about change as I was in seated forward fold on Saturday. The light was streaming in through the cracks in the blinds and I was almost in the full posture (with bind). Here I was 13 years after I failed my elementary school test for flexibility and even two months ago I may have been at just a mudra hold. We change, more accurately we are changed. The sun rises, the light appears, things break, things grow. I know we can't always see it, there were moments of my life as recent as just a few months ago where the only change I ever saw was the passing of time and it did not offer any hope. That in lies the mystery of hope, it appears, it breaks through the clouds and one days not to far away, or maybe a season or so of life way it breaks.

I know it sounds tright - all I can say is hope is not loftly, it is not a bizarre dream - it's small, it's real and it's tangible - open yourself up to all the little places of life around you and you'll see it.

It Might Be Hope

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2 comments:

In Blue and Green said...

Jen, please dont hate me...I left a comment above but this is an important message: My comments have been going missing for some time now. Apparently it was my fault but its been fixed :)
Any comments left posted on my blog will no longer disappear.
Thank you for understanding and hope to see your prints soon

Jenn said...

Oh, that's so sad, comments are so wonderful, and missing ones are truly a sadness.