A Year In Review

I mentioned before that I love reading my old blogs - there is so much that makes me smile, wrinkle my mouth in that sort of uncomfortable emotion way and just sigh a times. It started out much the same that is year is starting out - which actually surprised me to be honest. A part of me feels like I haven't changed at all, and yet a part of me wonders if the person who shows up every time at this laptop is some how showing up in life, in the day to day, that she's living beyond the brown and white of this blog or the other blogs. I know my emotions have changed - I don't think I've listened to Linkin Park, Foo Fighters or gasp Eminem in the last 3 months - I used to live on their lyrics - the answer to that why, I don't know - I still have to say I think the Foo's latest album was amazing.

This past year I have managed to achieve the following - as per usual there will be a little or a lot sarcasm involved:

1. Started therapy
2. Started group therapy
3. Stood outside a Crisis Pregnancy center for 30minutes on a busy street waiting for my first counseling visit - and no I was not and have never been pregnant.
4. Ate meat - even red meat - including two really good cheeseburgers and one horribly digested steak - so the last time I'm consuming good red meat.
5. Ate at least 4 tubs of ice cream myself and suffered at least a months worth of heartburn interrupted sleep due to those decisions.
6. Got engaged
7. Got unengaged
8. Witnessed my roommate get engaged - sort of- like in she got engaged and then moved out...
9. Did not witness the wedding - at therapy camp.
10. Travelled on my own - to only one of the two destinations I bought tickets for - the other I'm not sad I missed seeing - sorry Kansas.
11.Realized I have some awesome friends - I knew already but ya'll showed your true colours.
12. Saw SoFlo and swam in their ocean - way oh way too salty - but not hypothermia inducing so I don't know about that.
13. Read only two books - Michael Ondaatje and a book for therapy, though I started about a dozen others.
14. Found out how to keep up to date on all my TV watching without a TV.
15. Got a new roommate - and explained the wonders of the toque.
16.Decorated my home for Christmas - my home, my Christmas - I have lights!!!
17. Did Christmas shopping all before the last week before Christmas.
18. Started consuming more alcohol
19. Did Thanksgiving with Jocelyn's family - they aided in 18 for which I am thankful.
20. Saw more concerts - Ray LaMontagne and Duffy.
21. Introduced to new artists - Adele and Leona Naess
22. New stressful job - yay me!!!
23. Actually staying emotionally and relationally celibate when I said I would - big deal folks - big deal.
24. Realized my weaknesses
25. Keeping weaknesses off blog - but telling key people.
26. Sketching - started all over, after a week of not being able to sleep before sketching - I have a gallery opening if I could just find the artist.
27. Agreed to run a half and a full marathon - next year...
28. Left in my online dating wake 3 men - one named, the other anonymous and the last tagged Three.
29. Helped Leaha move on past BMMWH and I guess I moved on too.
30. Saw Capilano Suspension Bridge twice - one on one of the hottest days of the year and one on one of the coldest - both incredibly bad times to be there.
31. Became more addicted to my computer
32. Fell in love with 3 beautiful children, who just happen to live on the other side of the country.
33. Realized that taking apart my life is okay, it's not a sweet adventure, but savory - a kind of better in the end, but there is no real end kind of process.
34. Found that being weak is not bad, and that maybe I don't know what weak and strong really are. Just like I need to learn what love and trust are.