Marriage + Las Vegas + Ink and a quarter century crisis equals....

Something apparently - not quite sure though...

Cheryl's getting married, and while I have no intention of doing such a crazy thing any time soon, or even have the relative opportunity to do so, I've become immersed in all of it. The dresses, table settings, flowers and venues swim around in my head - so much so I (groan) have found my dress (I know, I know). So I blame the wedding for allowing my ears to once again tune into the siren song of Las Vegas. Sin City is calling loud and clear now. Funny, where all this is going. If I stay in Vancouver for the summer and work I most definitely intend to head south with Jess for a week of freakish heat, pools and all the cheesy glitz Vegas has to offer.... that or I'll spend the money on a new piece of work... while I promised Cheryl no evident pieces and I do not really have a desire to make my mom cry, again I have to confess there is a picture of a lotus flower in this month's Yoga Journal that is what I want. I have wanted another piece since last August, and while I do need to be honest there have been brief moments where I wonder about the original decision for the most part I'm still ecstatic about it. And so the question is - do I do three or two? Do I leave out the lotus and stick with the words or what... for curiosity sake - the lotus would again have to be in a non-evident location, thinking left side - as high up as possible - crazy yes, but this way I the only way you would see it would be if you were in Vegas with me...

And all this I blame on the big 2-5. Completely irrelevant and yet momentously bitter at the same time. No party is arranged - no celebration really desired, in the end I end have to make my own cake and I'm just not sure. I was talking with Meisha about doing culinary school - her not me (being vegan makes it a little too difficult - as even handling meat is unnerving now). And I wondered do I move? Can I do it, or is this whole being an adult living at home thing sucking the independence right out of me? I'm actually finding it crazy to imagine moving to some US city, and go to some random college just to get my PA (Physician's Assistant) - it makes sense and yet it's huge. New city, new school, new everything - all by myself. Granted it's like two years from now but still. I know those years pass by in a heart beat.

Regardless, all this insanity equals confusion and no action - deer in the headlights/bungee jumper on the edge - needing a push while hoping for the courage to do it alone or gain the sense to back away. Not sure which option I want.