Thursday, June 28, 2007

A diversion...

Maybe it's the excessive amount of chocolate I've consumed over the last few hours, the warm summer downpour (which I believe is so perfectly cheezy romantic - I guess that's why I'm a true vancouverite...) or even Ray LaMontagne - Empty playing right now... but I feel sentimental. It's one of those days where I want to bottle all the emotions, all the thoughts and feelings and then return to them on a day I'm not really with it - so that maybe I can analyse these emotions or something so they aren't wasted as they pile over each other.

All these factors pile onto these emotions from the Irresistible Revolution and the news that Sven, my PhD friend - I met through the International Mentorship program isn't going to be around to for the next 3 years - he's off back home due his adviser's departure back to Stuttgart. It's sad, it was really nice having someone I felt inherently understood a part of me - the whole being German thing. My parents loved that they could talk with him, and overall he's a genuinely nice person. On top of all that it was also nice that he was one of the first guys I haven't messed up our friendship with all the other stuff. Granted if we're going to look at this honestly - it could be argued that he hasn't seen the broken/damaged part of me - total bonus for all involved if you ask me. In probably one of our last times together, yesterday - he really encouraged me to relax - he's not worried about the PhD, life at full speed kind of thing, and in reality nor should I be... the way it's shaping up I will be taking a few distance ed courses this fall. I don't know about the spring, I was thinking maybe following Shane's lead and going to India - volunteering for a few months and maybe travelling - it's expensive so we'll have to see what transpires - at this point I may just have to settle for a week at the yoga retreat in Costa Rica and save the big travelling for later - next fall my mom's cousin, my aunt, my mom and my cousin all wanted to do a jaunt through Europe - but now with Sven there - maybe I can just kidnap him to give me a little tour around. First and formost right now is Las Vegas - last weekend of August it seems...

The more I look at the future the more I want to just do anything - I don't have to worry about finding "the one" because we've eliminated that, and med school - no worries there - that's gone and kids - well not for the next 5 years at least. So why not embrace life? In that spirit - I've got two pieces planed for this summer - the first one is a lotus flower - I found the perfect one in this month's Yoga Journal... but I may be more daring and go for gebrochen, "broken" in German (still have to check that's the 100% right word) - to go with my b-theme and the reality that I am broken and always want to remain that way in part - it's in our brokenness that we can be used... and that would be on my left foot running parallel along the side.

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