Monday, November 5, 2007

Monday Mornings and a whole lot else...

I attended 10th again last night in the hopes that I would provide further clarity into this whole vision and changing churches thing - it did, I think.... While I have impulsive tendencies I do know that when it comes to faith related issues I'm lethargic, impractically slow to change, even slower as time goes on, after plenty of times in recent past where I acted impulsive I've found it just isn't the way to do it sometimes.... Impulse though is still a wonderful thing. So attending last night apparently I lost my brain in the fog of the time change, and set my alarm clock for 6:45 am, when it should have been for 5:45 - so I was a little panicked when I heard the radio say it was 7:20... while I should have been on a bus downtown, I was standing in my room with Velcro rollers in and no clue what to wear... made it to work by the grace of God on time. Back on the note of church - yes I will be continuing to attend until I see it fit to change...no more visions but serentity and emotion were definitely on the menu last night.

The whole lot else - well 10th has brought a lot of other things to the surface - such as what next? I still feel drawn towards getting my yoga certificate primarily because it's a flexible, healthy and fulfilling job and it would be nice to remove myself from the medical field. Regent is looking like a good option down the road, they offer an Interdisciplinary program, one that lends itself to a focus in Gender and the Church - a topic that I'm fascinated with - especially post last night's sermon/talk - one of the members of 10th talked about his transition through homosexuality - while I'm not a proponent of these "fixes" advertised by the Church I am aware that change's in orientation are possible... I realize that's a load statement - let me explain my thoughts - Homosexuality is complex, it is in no way a decision - I choose to be ___ today - it is a result of sociological, physical, biochemical and a myriad of other factors, each situation is different - as such I'm hesitant to even the discuss the issue of "change" as I don't feel that it should be the mindset. There though does need to be the general recognition that from a Biblical view a union is between male and female and as such it does exclude the union of same genders - furthermore it does require that any individual who is Christian and cannot enter a Church supported union to remain celibate... Tony Campolo does a better job at explaining this...

So that being said, the lack of transparency around these issues in the Church as often grieved me - when I look at Willingdon - with it's 6000+ people in services, it isn't unreasonable to assume that there are several if not hundreds of individuals dealing with some degree of relational and gender uncertainty, even extrapolate that to those individuals dealing with gender roles - like myself - finding a place for a feminist, can be just as difficult as finding a place for an effeminate male. Willingdon has never in my time dealt with any of these issues directly, more just in passing. The issue of gender roles has been slightly discussed but not in a manner which is constructive, rather a you are female because he is male - it's a definition that doesn't stand up in the long run - it can be argued that women are more masculine now due to a response of the shift towards feminization of men, which is the crux of this new movement seen with leaders like Driscoll to push the traditional concept of masculinity...

One thing I am unsure about with 10th is being that it is a younger population of primarily single individuals you can't seem to escape the whole vibe of this is dating central - not my goal in attending and a part of my life I would prefer to leave out right now - entirely, then again there was that handsome guy in the front row last night who wouldn't have been in my eye line if that guy hadn't sat next to Leah - so I blame it all on Fidgety Man...

One more thing - since I'm adding this at the end of the day - my horoscope - which I read for pure humor sake claimed today was going to be a day of passion and romance - ahaha is what I said at lunch, but why not hold out, I mean seriously I'm not going to stop it if it's coming my way... but it hasn't sigh* (relief) and off to bed.

3 comments:

leah said...

Jenn, I seriously am really starting to hesitate why I am attending yet again a different church (believe me, I have a history since my stepdad was keen on that whole finding the "perfect" church too). But anyway, last nite after 10th I was just asking myself why I am looking for another church because it seems like I was just doing the exact same thing last year. And I was like, well I still like WIllingdon, minus a thing or two... but that's okay because you aren't going to find the perfect church- there is no such thing. And then I thought, well am I gonna feel this way about 10th a year later? ANyway, I think right now, I really want to avoid the "richness" and impassiveness that I'm seeing in Willingdon. Gosh, I wish I could just fly to where that simple way thing is where Claiborne is at and be a Christian hippie who smells (literally). But seriously I dont know... I do know that i need a Sabbath day filled with nothing but Jesusness and I realized that last nite after not being in church for a while.

Jenn said...

I know what you mean - the change to 10th is more than just a simplification of setting, it is an acknowledging that growth is necessary for me and that Willingdon for a variety of reasons wasn't going to allow that...it's a realization that while there isn't anything specifically wrong with Willingdon, there isn't anything there that will aid my growth - while it may for someone else. I need a church where not only do I feel something is demanded of me in regards to my growth but also a place with safe reassurance that like he said last night, this is a season of treading water and finding the currents, rather than frantically swimming.

cheryl said...

come to my church! they talk about SEX and other crazy faux pas topics.