The real issues come in the gray matters and those times where we don’t have those gut “No” feelings, if I’ve got no feeling on the matter against and I’ve got my own desires towards the Yes, where are You? Are you in those desires or is my mind at the mercy of forces of folly and falsehood?
You know I’m not going to say I have an answer because I don’t – I don’t have a clear one but I do have a book that Leaha gave me – and you know having a Godly roommate is a blessing profound. The book? Sex God by Rob Bell – and for those of you who have not read it – it is about you know, but more specifically about the desire for connection – the combination of sexuality and God – that our sexuality comes from our desire to connect where connection is lost – and it is also a recognition of the life spark, the soul of each of us divinely provisioned by our Creator – I could go on but it would be faster if you just read the book – it’s short and simple – which when you’ve got minimal blood glucose going on is a wonderful thing…. The chapter that really clicked for me was Chapter 5 “She Ran into the Girl’s Bathroom” – it’s about the risk involved in putting yourself out there – someone can accept you or reject you and vice versa, but the reality is this interaction/dynamic is “true from junior high dances to marriage proposals to inviting someone for coffee” (Bell 89). He goes on after describing a passage in Song of Solomon “So much potential, adventure, possibility. This could be us! Come with me. . . Does she leave? Does she go to the door in the wall and walk through to the other side? Because it isn’t just a wall, it’s a way of life. If she says yes to his offer, she’s trading what she knows in for the unknown…. This could all blow up in her face (
It’s an interesting thing to be faced with that which is the primary thing that holds you firm to the platform – the binary of desires – yes and no, jump and don’t jump, the think of the future and what future?
So that is where I’m at – no NO, but no YES, and a world of intelligent opinion for one side right now – and yet I would just prefer if God could hand me a note with one of the two options checked, like back in elementary school – it would be so much easier.