Saturday, February 9, 2008

Is the Absence of No a Yes?

I struggle and I think we all do with God in sense we know what we shouldn’t do - Ten Commandments – got those down – can’t say I’ve been crafting a Baal as of late – though my laptop is getting there – but that’s another issue altogether… I know what I am to do – Love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul, love my neighbour as I would desire to be treated – regardless of who my neighbour is, turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile beyond what is desired and etc – we know those – the whole application thing we falter on but again that is a different blog.

The real issues come in the gray matters and those times where we don’t have those gut “No” feelings, if I’ve got no feeling on the matter against and I’ve got my own desires towards the Yes, where are You? Are you in those desires or is my mind at the mercy of forces of folly and falsehood?

You know I’m not going to say I have an answer because I don’t – I don’t have a clear one but I do have a book that Leaha gave me – and you know having a Godly roommate is a blessing profound. The book? Sex God by Rob Bell – and for those of you who have not read it – it is about you know, but more specifically about the desire for connection – the combination of sexuality and God – that our sexuality comes from our desire to connect where connection is lost – and it is also a recognition of the life spark, the soul of each of us divinely provisioned by our Creator – I could go on but it would be faster if you just read the book – it’s short and simple – which when you’ve got minimal blood glucose going on is a wonderful thing…. The chapter that really clicked for me was Chapter 5 “She Ran into the Girl’s Bathroom” – it’s about the risk involved in putting yourself out there – someone can accept you or reject you and vice versa, but the reality is this interaction/dynamic is “true from junior high dances to marriage proposals to inviting someone for coffee” (Bell 89). He goes on after describing a passage in Song of Solomon “So much potential, adventure, possibility. This could be us! Come with me. . . Does she leave? Does she go to the door in the wall and walk through to the other side? Because it isn’t just a wall, it’s a way of life. If she says yes to his offer, she’s trading what she knows in for the unknown…. This could all blow up in her face (Bell 93).”

It’s an interesting thing to be faced with that which is the primary thing that holds you firm to the platform – the binary of desires – yes and no, jump and don’t jump, the think of the future and what future?

So that is where I’m at – no NO, but no YES, and a world of intelligent opinion for one side right now – and yet I would just prefer if God could hand me a note with one of the two options checked, like back in elementary school – it would be so much easier.


LeahA said...

Jenn your so inspiring in your honesty and writing !

I am glad that we are on the journeys we are on together ...and I am not talking about the whole tihng with boys..but just in general...

he has plans unimaginable , so dont worry if it is a yes or no, if you get off track or get lost he is bigger and will guide you back.

Anonymous said...

Its the hard that makes it that much more meaningful. If God gave us everything that we want and desire, how much would we really enjoy it or appreciate it? I know that this is a material thing, but I am reminded of when I was younger and I wanted a new bike. My parents told me that if I wanted it I had to work for it. So I worked odd jobs, mowed lawns, and made sure that I did my chores. If my parents would have just given me a new bike I would not have appreciated it as much as me buying it myself. Point is that things that are worth having, feeling and shring have a price. God gave his only Son to prove that He loves us and wants us to come to him.

Sometimes we want something so bad that when it is right in front of us we dont see it. I have come to realize that sometimes you need to slow down and take your focus off of that thing so that you can open your eyes to what God has put in front of you. The movie Patch Adams with Robin Williams is a statement to looking past the problem to see the solution.

Maybe I am just typing to hear my thaughts in words. By the way Hi Jenn...I am happy for you that things are starting to come into a blurry focus. I pray the best for you. Shelby