Monday, March 10, 2008

Walk Away....

We all know I have the death cold/flu - and maybe the excessive amount of drugs have consumed as of late have effected my brain, but then again I think I've known that I've had to do this for a while now. I canceled the flight, no Kansas, no ruby slippers, none of it. Why? Because I realized something a few weeks ago after the fight about Shawn/E and my talk with Seth, that I wasn't really into it - that there were moments I was but as a whole at some point in time I had started building a wall - why and how I do not know but I know a lot of it came from issues. Ultimately I realized several things:

1. The whole date no one for a year thing - was a good idea
2. I need to grow as me find the right path for me - separate from someone else needs
3. The absence of No does not mean Yes
4. There is no harm in putting yourself out there
5. I can't do the online thing - I need to grow into someone, the rush doesn't work for me

In the end though I have to say though I walked away - he sure wasn't up for a fight, which disappointed me in some strange way - with all the medications in me and lack of voice you think you would have put up a fight.

You're a great guy Ryan (aka Three), I'm just not the woman you need.

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