Walk, Fall, Stumble, Run, Just Hold On

Tonight Ken's benediction was to paraphrase, In being who you are, remember who's you are. I'm coming to that place of working through some of the elementary parts of unraveling the mess around who I am and foundational to all that is who I am in Christ and more importantly that that I am His and he does not let go. I've started to walk through things I would never have imagined would happen and in ways am being completely blessed by the pain and awkwardness of it all. The cynical part of me says I've resigned myself to this process, the part that I'm living in, the part that lives daily with a mission to banish the self doubt says, it's not a resignation but an understanding that I'm being held, and that sure it's going to be ugly but that's okay, there will be no shoe dropping, no hands being let go, I am not alone regardless of how bumpy the journey will be at times.

I understand that there are those who are angry, those who don't understand, those who may never understand, but for some reason I have a peace, a peace that does not say you do not have a right to be angry or confused, but one that says now is not the time for that, but I'll get back to it when I am there to deal with it, my life is changing and I know that in time I will be better equipped to articulate, understand, account for and defend - now maybe just is not that time.



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