No Laughing Matter

Just as Leaha is fervent about her dislike of cheese, I am of a certain member of the Insect phylum - the mere mention of which is known to start panic attacks - and the very fact that I am blogging this is not a good thing I know, but I needed to get it off my chest. Most of you know that although I would even admit that my reaction is not sensible, and often is quite humorous - the fear response is altogether the same. You all also know that it is something I do not permit jokes or teasing about. So when Three last night mentioned said arachnid I could have reached through the phone and strangled him. I was safe in my bed and near sleep when those fateful words left his mouth. So the lights went on, bed was check, floor checked and then once my heart rate had returned to normal I tired to sleep, still terrified of what could be lurking. All was fine until this morning as I got out of the shower, there it was black and skittering across our bathroom floor into some unidentified hole I'm sure to return until its hopefully speedy departure via the bottom of my shoe.

So let this be a lesson to you - while Three is lucky that I have a ticket booked and I happen to really like him, let me tell you this, humor around this subject is no laughing matter.

So how about you - got a fear the world thinks is crazy?

Note there is no picture to accompany this blog, because well I like to read my own blog as narcissistic as that sounds, and I wouldn't if it was there.

Address your fears....

I just about choked today when that was brought up. Fears? Go for them, you sure? Seriously? (The big inner monologue was running on high speed today - with the big check list of things that I shouldn't say, restrain bluntness - for the love, Jenn you best be doing that today repeated in my head) Sure I've got a few phobia's heights, spiders and who knows maybe even bovine. But the bigger issue, the three non-phobia fears I've have had running parallel to the standards - relationships/dating/commitment, men and life's progression. I can't say that those will ever really change - the first I guess will have to at some point in time and I guess in some ways I'm currently trying to make efforts to move beyond the whole happy and single thing - not sure what will become of that but I'm prepared to be satisfied that I was brave enough despite the snickering, to put on foot in front of the other - and regardless of the end results. Face plants still count as forward motion right?

The second - given my experiences that's going to be tough one and life's progression, well Jess and I had some long talks on the ferry rides today - ultimately a job must be holistic, and right now I've set myself on a course that runs counter to my current job and many other jobs - my "lifestyle," my faith and my "passions" and a 9-5 job is not going to cut it. The Publishing Program at SFU maybe, combined maybe with yoga training/personal training looks like a good option and with my Kinesiology and Gerontology minors I can tailor those together. I'm hoping that it starts becoming clearer.

So in regards to the first "fear" again, the whole marriage thing will still likely give me nightmares, but the small stuff that happens so far in advance of that doesn't seem to be so huge - it isn't the horrible cliff of doom I once though it was, maybe because my face hurts from smiling/laughing so much - which in and of itself neutralizes whatever may be... enough said, semi-self censorship is probably best.

Photo courtesy of Maplemusketeer.