So about this site

I feel the only thing I'm getting out of this experience is a really good how to book for men - how to pick a username that doesn't scare me - like in the way you could be a WoW playing (all the time), Internet stalker, still live with my mother or even axe-murdering freak. So here are the suggestions.

1. Don't pick a name like MrSensual, Uncle___ (there have been a few of those), WILDHOGMAN, ezeymoney and I could go on - for those of you on the site - these are real - check them out if you don't believe me.

2. DON'T TYPE IN CAPITALS - it translates as yelling

3. Spell chekc - yes, while I typed that incorrectly on purpose - use your spell check, I'm not a gril, you aren't going to go threw life with me

4. Pictures - they are the source of your success and your downfall - variety works, and even better recent - saw one this morning that looks like it has to be at least 15 years old from the discoloration. So here's a little insight into my life when I'm really bored and have a digital camera - I do my hair and make-up like it counts not the everyday when I go to work look- and then in the natural light of Leaha's room take as many head shots as I need to get one that works - let that be your profile picture and save the Halloween shots, the up the nose shots and all the other stuff for your Flickr page. Can't do it yourself - get a friend and just keep doing it.

May this picture serve as the kind not to post - one of me doing my Botox face for Jess.

5. Don't write a profile you think we want to read because if you are still single at 50 - you haven't figured women out - saying you're sensual, that you're a softy, a ___, may work for a small number of women. But for the most part it brings to mind the picture of the overly friendly male that no one wants to get to know - the one that is always obnoxiously flirting with every woman in the room - like he's got no self control or self respect.

6. Your future mate is a person -they aren't a Barbie doll, or a made to order specimen - know that they have faults - mine most prevalently is some of my language (oops) - but that being said if you are going to be a Darrell and pull some __ out about how you have to have a pastor's wife - then put that out there right way so I can laugh at your profile and move on.

7. Know that she's out there - keep your backbone and your whits about you - to the nice guy I've talked to twice - we so aren't compatible and since I don't know you I wasn't as blunt as I would have liked to have been - you seem nice, decent - so pull yourself together man - don't play the victim card - it's even more of a turn off than you not reading.

8. I don't care about your job, seriously as long as it's legal - that is. So don't go putting your job title in the first two lines of your profile - that is unless you want someone who cares about wealth and status...

9. Don't play games with me - I'm learning pretty fast how this thing all goes down - interested that's great, not lets move on - I've got too much shit in my life to add one more person who's not interested to the mix. And there we go with the poor choice use of words.